I Am Sorry If This Offends You, But...

Last year I experienced the receiving end of this statement, each time I heard this I was reminded of a pastor who once said “People have been offending God for X amount of years, if they are offended, let them be offended”. This was a profound statement I spent some time meditating on and eventually shifting my own concerns with offending others. 

“I am sorry if this offends you, but...” has become a common prelude to expressing difficult truths or unpopular opinions. It’s almost as if we feel the need to apologize for speaking what we believe is right. But should we be apologizing for truth?

Why Do People Say This?

When someone says, “I am sorry if this offends you, but...” they are often attempting to soften the blow of what they are about to say. The intention is usually a means of politeness, caution or a preemptive defense. A means of preparing the hearer for that fatal blow

While this approach comes from a desire to balance truth and grace, it often waters down the power of what needs to be said. Jesus never apologized for speaking the truth, and neither should we when we stand on biblical principles.

Should We Expect Some to Be Offended?

Jesus Himself warned that truth is divisive. In Matthew 10:34, He said:

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

The gospel confronts sin and calls people to repentance. This message is not always welcomed or nice, especially in a culture that celebrates moral relativism. The Apostle Paul echoed this in 1 Corinthians 1:18:

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

When truth collides with sinful desires, the offense is inevitable. People don’t like being told that their actions or beliefs contradict God’s Word, and offense is often a defense mechanism to avoid conviction.

What Does the Bible Say About Offending Others?

While the Bible teaches us to be mindful of others’ feelings, it never instructs us to compromise truth to avoid offense. Jesus was often offensive to the religious elite because He exposed their hypocrisy. Matthew 15:12-14 highlights this when the disciples told Jesus that the Pharisees were offended by His words. Jesus replied:

“Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

However, there’s a distinction between causing offense by proclaiming truth and being offensive in our manner. Colossians 4:6 instructs:

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

We are called to speak the truth with love and respect, but truth itself can be offensive.

Why Shouldn’t We Be Concerned If Someone Gets Offended?

When we prioritize avoiding offense over proclaiming truth, we risk diluting the gospel. Our mission is not to gain approval from the world but to honor God by standing firm in His Word. Paul reminds us in Galatians 1:10:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

If someone is offended because of truth, we should not be deterred. Jesus told His followers in John 15:18-19:

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.”

Our concern should be faithfulness to God, not public approval.

How Can We Apply This Thinking?

So how do we apply this mindset in a world where offense is inevitable?

• Speak Truth Boldly: Do not shy away from speaking biblical truth, even when it’s unpopular. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to “speak the truth in love.”

• Be Compassionate, But Unwavering: While we should speak with kindness and patience, we should not compromise or sugarcoat truth to avoid offense.

• Pray for Wisdom: Ask God for discernment on when and how to speak. James 1:5 promises that He will give wisdom generously when we ask.

• Expect Opposition: Prepare your heart for pushback. Jesus warned in John 16:33:“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

• Rest in God’s Approval: Remember that our ultimate affirmation comes from God, not man.

Final Thoughts

“I am sorry if this offends you, but...” may seem like a polite introduction, but as believers, we don’t need to apologize for proclaiming God’s truth. While we are called to speak with love and grace, we must not shy away from confronting sin and calling people to repentance. Offense is sometimes the necessary byproduct of sharing the gospel in a fallen world. Our goal should not be to avoid offense but to remain faithful to the One who called us to be salt and light in a dark world.